Throwback Thursday : 11 Things I Learnt From Having Diarrhoea

11 things i learnt from having diarrhoea

I have saved the best blog posts from my previous now-defunct personal blog and bringing them back here as Throwback Thursday posts.  Poor Mr LOL has been suffering this week with a bout of diarrhoea and I could not resist sharing this TMI post which was originally published on 16th March 2012.

I am currently sick.  Today is the 3rd day I have had diarrhoea accompanied with tummy ache.  It is NOT nice.  My toilet has never had so much action!

Here are 11 things I learnt from having diarrhoea :-

1.  It confirmed my suspicions that my iPhone is indeed my BFF.

Whilst sitting on the porcelain throne, my iPhone provided great entertainment to distract myself from the pain and smell { oh the smell! }.  I Facebook stalked, tweeted, read some blogs, played some games, Whatsapp’ed, read e-mails, watched Youtube videos…  Steve Jobs, I know you’re dead ‘n’ all, but I salute you!

2.  Everyone will ask you – “What did you eat?”

Like that really helps?!!

“Oh wait, let me just get into my Time Machine so I can rewind time and not eat the Poisonous Food!”

3.  The nicest softest toilet paper turns into sandpaper after 4 rounds of diarrhoea.

Bear in mind, I had about 30 rounds of it on Day 1!!!  And well, I have lost count now.  Wait!  Is there an app for this?  Maybe I should develop this and call it “The Diarrhoea Log” App.  Pun very much intended!

5.  It hurts.

What hurts?  Anatomically speaking, my anal sphincter.

6.  “A$$ hole” is funnier than “anal sphincter”.

For some bizarre reason, anal people got rather uncomfortable when I use the words “anal sphincter”.  But when I said my “a$$ hole hurts”, there were fits of giggles.

7.  The “I need to fart” urge can have an identity crisis.

You think you’re going to fart, but instead…

I’ll leave the rest into your imagination.  Sorry if you’re about to eat dinner.  Actually, no, I am not sorry!  I haven’t had dinner for the last few days and I am ravenously hungry!

8.  I’m impressed with my bodily functions.

So I think I’m peeing and then suddenly, it turns into diarrhoea.  Oh wait!  It’s both at the same time.

BOOM!

Wow, great multi-tasking, right there!

9.  Instead of losing weight, I have gained weight!

At first, I was secretly glad to have diarrhoea, “Yay, the lazy girl’s guide to losing weight!  I’ll be a skinny mini in no time!”

It’s Day 3 and I have barely ate anything but I am bloating all over.

10.  People are not that impressed with over-sharing of the diarrhoea kind.

What?  You want to know if I’m pregnant?  Which means you want to know about my sex life…which involves a lot of body contact and fluid exchange… and secretions of the sexual kind…

But if I mention other types of body excretions, it’s like, “Eww!  STFU TMI Ling!  Too.  Much.  Info.”

11.  Chopsticks are better than knife, fork and spoon anyday!

I learnt that chopsticks is the best thing to use to fish out toilet roll which has dropped into the toilet!  Oh yeahhhh!!!

If you managed to read all the way, congratulations.  For all those who didn’t make it, I hope they get the diarrhoea bug!  Muhahahahaha!

LOL!  I’m actually giggling!  I can’t believe I love writing so much about crap! 😛  Do you laugh at stuff you wrote from a few years ago?  What have you learnt from having diarrhoea?

8 Regrets Of A Newbie First Time Mum

regrets of a mother, mummy blogger australia, melbourne mummy blogger

I regret…

Yelling at Bunty when she was only a few days old.  “What is wrong with you?  Why won’t you go to sleep?  What do you want from me??!!”  I was exasperated and extremely fatigued as I hadn’t had a proper night’s sleep for weeks!!!

{ #NewbieMumTip :  Newborns cry a lot and sometimes, for no reason at all.  Hang in there; you’re doing a great job! }

Saving Bunty’s pretty little dresses for a special day.  She outgrew them so quickly!  Every day is special so just dress them up and take plenty of pics!

Not taking more videos of her when she was just fresh out the oven.  I got it in my stupid big head that only high quality DSLR videos were worthy of taking.  NO, NO, NO!  Any smartphone video is better than no video memories at all.

Wasting $150 on an Osteo to treat her reflux.  It didn’t do anything for Bunty at all.  And that $150 could have been spent on more baby things.

Going against my maternal instincts and following unsolicited advice instead.  Just remember that you know your baby the best!

Returning to work earlier than my intended 1 year maternity leave.  I went back at 7 months due to unforeseen circumstances { Mr LOL was unemployed for 5 months }.

inspirational quotes

Worrying about what family and friends would think if I posted photos of Bunty on Facebook / Instagram / online.  But I woke up one day and snapped out of it.

Not starting this blog sooner!!!  I had so much free(ish) time when Mr LOL was unemployed and Bunty Boo used to sleep a LOT more.  Instead, I choose to start this blog when I am at my busiest season – juggling 3-4 days of work, running a beauty blog, reigniting my YouTube channel and full-time, full-on wife and mummy duties!

Well, at least, I do not regret the long arduous journey of motherhood!

If you are a mum, what are your regrets?

Thank God It’s Friday!

Jack Daniels Sampler, Jack Daniels Platter, TGI Fridays, TGI Fridays Australia, TGI Friday's Doncaster East

Our little family have been loving TGI Friday’s Jack Daniel’s Sampler.

The Husband and I have been struck down with lazy-itis and making dinner is the last thing on our minds.

Instead, we’ve been eating out a few times { third time in 2 weeks! } at a recently refurbished TGI Friday’s near us.

Mr LOL and I love to share this sampler platter which comes with its infamous Jack Daniel’s sweet, sticky glaze with a little kick at the end.  It has a generous serving of crispy sesame chicken strips, a small rack of smoky baby back pork ribs and six Cajun battered shrimp – which I get to eat ALL BY MYSELF because Mr LOL is allergic to prawns!

{ Side note :  Am I bad mother if I hope that Bunty follows her father’s footsteps and she is allergic to prawns too, so that I get to eat ALL THE PRAWNS FOREVER?!!  I KID, I KID!!!! }

Bunty munching on bones

As for Bunty, she gets to gnaw on the bones of the ribs { after she has been fed her usual baby food }.  And she LOVES it!

Click to add a blog post for TGI Fridays on Zomato

Thankfully, my dear Mother arrived last week and she’s our newly appointed dinner lady so I’ll make sure to take notes of what she is cooking.  So far, we’ve had the oral pleasure of Chinese roast pork { siew yoke } – SO DAMN GOOD!!! – and she’s given me the recipe!!!

What has your family been munching on lately?

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