So this happened…
It had been dark, cold and lazy winter days for too long in Melbourne so when there was that one sunny day a few weeks ago, I peeled my lazy ass off the couch and spontaneously decided to take the kids to our local park…
…without driving there.
As in, walking there pushing the baby in the pram and preschooler in the skateboard.
“Are you sure you don’t want to drive there?” – asked my husband. He didn’t join us as he was busy with some home DIY project.
“Yes, I can do this! Pfft, it’s only up the road!” – said I, with steely determination in my voice.
I quickly buckled the kids up and headed off…before I could change my mind…
15 minutes later, we reached the park.
There was a toddler there on the swings with her dad.
My 3yo hopped off her skateboard and ran towards the slide, giggling along the way.
severely slightly out of breath but I was beaming with pride at myself because I did it! I walked to the park!!!!
Obviously, I made sure to take plenty of photos and videos on my phone because if it’s not on social media, did it really happen?!
“Baby! That’s a baby!” yelled the toddler as she pointed to my 9 month old. Her father and I exchanged a friendly parent-to-parent nod and smile.
For 5 minutes, everything was going exceedingly well.
The sun was shining, I was on a swing holding onto my koala baby while my 3yo was running up the stairs and going down the slide and it just felt so good to be alive…
…until my 3yo piped up, “Mum, I need the toilet! NOW!”
I was calm and collected. I can handle this. No biggie, I thought to myself.
I plonked the baby onto the pram, grabbed my 3yo’s hand and headed to the nearest tree.
I squatted and held onto my 3yo’s legs and helped her squat for her to pee.
“Are you finished peeing yet?”
“Yes. But I need to poo now.”
“Whaaa… okay, quickly, come on!”
I quickly glanced around to see if anybody was watching.
Oh great, the toddler was pointing her finger at us. I gave the dad a weak smile…
“I’m finished mum!”
“Okay, wait here while I get some tissue…”
I ran back to the pram, peered into the basket and found two tissues…which were probably used to wipe a snotty nose or two…oops!
TMI but usually my 3yo does poos where there’s nothing left behind and one quick wipe is enough.
Unfortunately, today was not one of those days.
I quickly realised that this wet sloppy pile of poo was not a two tissue affair.
And I also realised that I had nothing, NOTHING!!! packed in the pram basket. No nappies, no baby wipes, no food wrapper that could be used as an emergency tissue or poo bag….NOTHING!!!
I had to call for emergency back up.
The five minutes it took for my husband to drive to the park felt like FOREVER.
We stood next to the tree, guarding the hot steaming pile of stinky poo. My 3yo was embarrassed and didn’t want to talk. My 9mo was getting antsy sitting in the pram. And I was avoiding the toddler and her dad who were extremely curious at what we were doing.
My husband pulled up the car and strolled towards us with a big massive grin on his face; one hand carrying toilet roll and the other hand carrying a plastic bag.
“Do I HAVE to pick up the poo? Why can’t I just sprinkle some twigs and leaves on top of it?”
“It is not singular. Think plural. Have you seen the pile of poo??!!”
“Oh my gosh!!”
All parents will nod their head and agree when I say that it is amazing how much and how often a little mini person can poo.
Feeling left out, the little one decided to do a big massive poo in her nappy while we were doing the clean-up!!!
But it somehow broke the ice because after I wiped her bum, my 3yo started singing, “I poo-poo-ed and then little sister poo-poo-ed too! Yeah, yeah, yeah. We poo-poo together!!”
We now call our local park, The Poo Poo Park!